May 17 - its been a while since I have blogged!

This will be a long blog. It has been since mid-April that I have posted a blog. These have been interesting and eventful weeks. I was a final candidate to become the next president of Saint Paul School of Theology, making a 2 1/2 day visit to the campus for interviews etc. I learned on Good Friday that I had been released as a candidate. During this candidacy, my friend Ron Watts in Cape Girardeau had been discussing with me the possibility of joining him on the staff of La Croix UMC as executive pastor if I was not selected for Saint Paul. In the last couple of weeks he and I have finalized this position and the bishop has made the appointment official. It was announced to the Wesley congregation two weeks ago. Audrey and I have a contract signed to purchase a house in Cape, and we are beginning to say our good byes. This has been quite the whirlwind, and God has been guiding each step of the way.

This morning I awoke around 3, stayed in bed til 3:40, went to my study, found on my shelf a book I had misplaced, loaned to me by Hiram Hill entitled A Glimpse of Glory by Rick East. I stood paging through the first four chapters, spellbound for half an hour. With fresh coffee I am now in my comfortable chair for morning devotions. The gas fire is burning, the birds are calling to one another, and my world has regained a sense of normalcy.

It was rocked yesterday at 2:15 pm when I returned home and could not find my cell phone. I had used it to call the Radon guy in Cape from the parking lot of Sams Club. Upon arriving home, Audrey was being helped by Pam, who was vacuuming the drapes in our bedroom. I cancelled my 3:15 tennis appointment with Elinton so I could address the lost phone.  I quickly retraced my steps to Sams, starting in the parking lot, then checking with customer service to no avail. I returned home and tried to figure out what app I had downloaded to find a lost droid. I could not remember or figure it out. I called Kerner. I went to the Verizon store, was assisted by the store manager who suggested I get on my computer and access “Plan B”. He also gave me a Sim card for my backup Droid Bionic phone (purchased used in fall of 2013, when Droid Razr was not taking a charge.) I could not get Plan B to work, it telling me it did not support the Droid Razr. So using My Verizon I switched my phone service to the Bionic, essentially losing any possibility of reaching the Razr remotely. I got on my bank’s website and changed my password to my accounts, since a person could have figured it out from my phone. I was glad to have my cell number back in service, checked my 6 voicemails and texts. I experienced a real disorientation from losing this phone. The sense of loss of photos, texts, and contacts, along with the vulnerability of a stranger accessing all my data was almost overwhelming.

Audrey and I attended the KOC graduation and were honored by the directors and a gift of a photo of the school with a huge thank you spelled out with colored noodles. From there we went to dinner at Red Lobster using a $25 gift card Audrey had found from years ago. Our server Sam did an excellent job, and we really enjoyed our meal and dining experience. Returning home shortly before 9 pm, we began to get ready for bed, feeding the cats, checking messages, etc.

Just before going to bed, I reached my hand down into the bottom of the large section of my 10 year-old backpack that I use for a briefcase, carrying my laptop and vital accessories to a from the office. In the bottom of that backpack I found my phone. I never put it there, don’t remember doing so in the Sams parking lot, and was mystified that I had located it. Overwhelming gratitude filled my heart as I carried it to the bedroom and turned it on along with the Droid Bionic that is now the working phone. It was as though a sense of completeness and well-being snapped into place in my emotions. From 2:15 til 9:15 I went through the hours of loss, desperate search, rearranging of schedule, being out of touch with communications, frustrated with lack of tracking app, and the agonizing decision to terminate phone service to the missing phone.

During those hours I was conscious of the impact upon my being of this lost phone. The disorientation, the sense of loss and hopeless combined with search initiative wrapped up with regret for not remembering the app to find it and the carelessness in losing it. I was aware that others experience much more significant and profound losses – the death of loved ones, the betrayal of a spouse, the horrible decisions of children and grandchildren. During those seven hours of loss I was aware that what I was feeling and thinking would be instructive as I come alongside others when they are in the midst of loss and disorientation.

Thank You Lord for walking with me through the hours of yesterday afternoon and evening. Use my experience as a tool to assist others and to grow in my manner and experience of ordering my life. Increase my compassion and availability for others, from those closest to me to those whom I have yet to meet. Speak to me from your Word this Saturday morning.

I Sam 10-12

Samuel anoints Saul, gives him specific instructions and tells him of the details he will encounter. Saul becomes a changed man, encounters the prophets, joins them, and returns to his father. Samuel calls all Israel together, announces that they have sinned by rejecting God. He promises that if they serve God with all their hearts, they and their king will be blessed. If not, God will fight against them.

Today I will serve God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. I will study, write my sermon, correspond, pack, exercise, fully giving away myself on this day, and living it for eternity. Thank you Lord for an early start, for writing and reflecting, for the experiences of yesterday, and the opportunities of today. I am yours. Use me this day. 

Palm Sunday

I awoke at 5:15, without the benefit of the alarm. Audrey and I returned home at 11:00 last night from attending the funeral of our friend Linda Hurst Locke near Memphis, TN. Linda was Audrey's last roomate before we married, and a servant of Christ who worked on the staff of several United Methodist Churches in Tennessee. Her funeral was a celebration of her life, and the gathering of her family and friends in our grief. My body is now still weary, but I got a good night’s sleep and am ready for this Palm Sunday. Rochelle will lead the musical, Micki Pulleyking will preach at 9:30 and 10:40. 

Scripture – Matthew 23:29-39

Jesus laments over Jerusalem, noting that the prophets are killed in that city. The current religious leaders build memorials to them and say they would not have killed them. God says to them “behold, I am sending you prophets and wise men and scribes; some of them you will kill and crucify, and some of them you will scourge in your synagogues, and persecute from city to city.”

Last night I read the daily reading from Bonhoeffer’s compendium and having just attended Linda Hurst Locke’s funeral, it was fittingly on death. He described the two deaths – one outer – from the bullet (or the gallows, or the knife or the blood clot, bacteria or who-knows-what.) The other death is the inner – dying to self every day, giving one’s life away, “losing one’s life that it may be found.”) Linda’s life was such an example, Bonhoeffer’s life was, and I desire for my life everyday to be such an example of the inner death of surrender, pouring it into the lives of others.

The prophets gave their lives away, saying hard and accurate words about God’s will and the people’s actions. There will always be a tension between what people want to hear, and how they will respond when God’s servants are obedient.

Guide me today, most holy Lord as your obedient servant, giving my life away on this day in April. 

Day 31 – Forty Days in the Word

Mission Blitz today!!!  I look forward to being present at both sites in both communities.   This is our seventh year to dedicate a Saturday in April for the Wesley UMC congregation to be out in ministry in the Springfield community. The sun is bright, though it is chilly. Six months of preparation have been focused upon today's efforts, and the follow-up which will ensue.       

Day 31 – Forty Days in the Word.

Philippians 2, especially verse 13

“For it is God who works in Bruce Baxter to will and to act according to his good pleasure.” To rewrite this verse, inserting my name as per the devotional plan for this week prescribed by Rick Warren is powerful. It is God who works in me. It is God working in me that adjusts my will – Psalmist – Lord give me the desires of my heart – ie cause my heart to desire what You desire. It is God working in my that directs my actions – “that I may do, what Thou wouldst do.” My actions today as I visit the two mission blitz sites and interact with all the people involved will be the result of God working in me.

As I consider my possible role in seminary leadership, it would be God working in me to will and act according to His good pleasure in the operations, outreach, design, implementation and funding of the work of educating and training pastors. This gives me great confidence. I am not alone. What I will and do is not self-generated. My life is hidden in Christ, filled with the Spirit of Christ and directed to the purposes of Christ. As I preach and prepare messages, it is God at work in me to speak the word of reconciliation, of love, of life with hope, joy and peace.

Thank you Lord for this scripture from the pen of Paul and from his heart. My prayer this morning is that You would more fully and powerfully be at work in Bruce Baxter to will, desire, and plan to act according to all that pleases You and extends Your kingdom on earth, even as it is in heaven. 

Day 26 – Forty Days in the Word

On this Monday morning my body is recovering from the exertion of leading the faith community called Wesley United Methodist Church through its Sunday ministries. Audrey and I will be traveling for the next couple of days and I am preparing for that trip. It is good for me at this early hour to simply open the 40 Days in the Word Workbook, turn to day 26 and begin to study the scriptures.

James 3:13

NASB – “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.”

Bruce’s paraphrase – If any of you has wisdom and deep understanding let it be shown in your actions – deeds of good behavior performed with gentle wisdom.

Application – wisdom is borne out in actions – a wise person is identified by what is done, not just what is thought. Of course Jesus observed that evil deeds come from sin that is in the heart, and what is done springs from what is thought.

Guide me today, most holy Lord as I move forward with developing relationships with the gentleness of wisdom.

Day 25 – Forty Days in the Word

I am looking forward to leading worship today at Wesley! We will celebrate communion, make a last appeal for Saturday’s Mission Blitz, and baptize one of our young adults. My message is about Bible study with the text being from the Gospel of John, chapter 15.

Day 25 – Forty Days in the Word

Rather than use the scripture suggested by the workbook, I will use the paraphrase method on the scripture from which I will be preaching this morning.

John 15:4 –5

Live in me, as I live in you. Just as the branch cannot produce grapes unless it draws its source from the vine, neither can you produce the life of God unless you draw your source from Me. I am the vine, the central source of life, you are the branches, living in me. Those who live in me and I in them are exceptionally fruitful, but separated from me you can do nothing. (Bruce Baxter’s Paraphrase)

Paraphrasing these verses is not easy. Working on it is a discipline that gives me greater insight into the meaning. Reading my paraphrase increases my desire and my intention to live completely in Christ, allowing His life in me to make my life exceptionally fruitful. There is an invisibility at work here. My experience is with blackberries. I pruned my four bushes in December, and cut off a few dead branches. I always feel sorry for the dead ones, and wonder what caused their death. I wince when I prune the living branches, and trust that pruning them will produce greater fruit.

God has been at work pruning me during the last several months. I look forward to the fruitfulness that will follow, as I completely live in Christ, draw my strength, my life from Him, and expect my life to be fruitful as He works in me that which I could not work in myself.

Paul wrote in Romans 8 – “I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (8:38-39)

Guide me on this precious sabbath morning, most Holy Lord as I live in you and you live in me. Speak through me, comfort through me, encourage through me, baptize through me. This is the day that You have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Day 24 – Forty Days in the Word

James 1:22-25

During this week the assignment is to paraphrase the daily scripture. Here is my paraphrase –

"But be examples of those who act upon what the word says, and not merely those who study it but never implement its teaching thus fooling themselves that they are faithful. For if anyone studies the Bible but does not implement its teachings, that person is like one glancing at the face in the mirror, but moves on forgetting what was just seen. But anyone who really studies the complete Bible, the Word of grace, and adopts it into one’s life, not simply reading and forgetting what it says, but effectively putting it into practice will be blessed in the doing."

May my life daily be an example of looking intently into the perfect law, the law of liberty, abiding in it. May I never become forgetful of God’s word, but instead an effectual doer (What does the Lord require of you…) and thus experience the blessing of God in what I do.

Today is Saturday, it is 7:37 am in Springfield, 35 degrees and clear, heading for a high of 55 and sunny.

I have an unusually blank calendar on this Saturday. I will work hard on writing projects – my sermon and my presentation for Tuesday. I got a good night’s rest last night, and my goal will be to get up at 5 am tomorrow rested and ready for the day. I am feeling inspired and prepared to think, write, discern, create. Yesterday on the recommendation of Dave Conley I purchased the Kindle version of Paul Taylor’s The Next America. It has great data and his interpretation of the “looming generational showdown.”

In his preface, Paul Taylor, who turns 65 this year, contrasts the America he remembers with the current reality. He states “Our political, social, and religious institutions are weaker, our middle class smaller, our cultural norms looser, our public debate courser, our technologies faster, our immigrant-woven tapestry richer, and our racial, ethnic, religious, and gender identities more ambiguous. As a society we’ve become more polarized and more tolerant – and no matter what we’re like today, we’re going to be different tomorrow. Change is constant.”

In his chapter entitled “Empty Cradle Gray World” he discusses declining birthrates and introduces the term “sub-replacement-level fertility.” For a human society to replace itself, each woman must give birth to 2.1 children. Japan’s is currently 1.4. The Japanese government’s worst case scenario is that its current population of  127 million will fall to 47 million by the year 2100. I see the direct correlation of this principle in the church – congregations often have a “sub-replacement-level fertility”! Few spiritual new births, members who have been followers of Christ for decades, and then a gradual decline. In any particular church the leaders can decide to focus upon developing more, new disciples. And just as in the culture, this takes energy and effort, an outward focus and a readiness to give one’s life away. Currently the mainline churches have a sub-replacement-level spiritual fertility rate!

Day 16 - Forty days in the Word

Day 16  Mark 9:33-35

This passage was the text for the sermon on Sunday at Bethany’s church in Baltimore. The pastor did a very good job developing a chart, which I recorded in my small notebook. I will read it specifically with the formula prescribed by Rick Warren for this week called Spacepets, of what to look for when studying a biblical text devotionally, 

I have used a simpler formula over the years which involved: sin to confess, command to obey, promise to claim, prayer to pray. Spacepets has so many more parts, and I will utilize it this week. 

Sin of grappling for greatness.

Promise – the last shall be first

Attitude – servant (last night Colin Powell prescribed an attitude of optimism is required for leaders.)

Command – receive the least of these in Jesus’ name

Example – Jesus took a child in his arms

Prayer – Lord make me an instrument of thy peace

Error to avoid – pushing to get to the top, stepping on people in the process

Truth – serving others is God’s way, it was Jesus’ way, and it is my way.

Something to praise – Thank you Lord for this passage, reminding me of the servant role, and for the sermon I experienced on Sunday in Baltimore.

What a long and fulfilling day was yesterday! When I got home at 10 pm from the Colin Powell lecture, I sat on the couch, talked on the phone to Audrey who is visiting friends in Lynchburg, Virginia. My day began with a 7 am breakfast at the Victory Mission's Cooks' Kettle, meeting with pastors from around the York Elementary School neighborhood. I met with people all day, involving 4 different restaurants! Last night after the PPR meeting I headed to MSU to hear Colin Powell, which was a very rewarding experience.  Today my task is to write my sermon for Sunday, and to work ahead as far as possible (along with two meetings). I might even start working on my Easter Sunday sermon which will kick off a series on miracles.